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“Everybody knows you never go full retard.”

Well you know what, hilariously racist portrayal of a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude, I will go full retard, and by full retard, I mean embrace my calling as an aspiring, struggling writer.  There’s just one problem.


It sure is Lisa.  It sure is.

Anyway, I suppose because I put the fact that I’m an aspiring blogger/writer on my Linkedin profile, that means this is really it guys.  I’m really gonna commit to it this time.  But I’ve been down this road before, several times.  I say I’m gonna write, then I write a story about flashy swordsmen and old perverts (a reference only Wandag knows.  Man I really need to get to know more famous people), then about halfway though the narrative, I just give up, and don’t go back to it until like 7-8 years later when I continue the imbecilic cycle.  But, you know, that was the young me.  The old me is wiser, less flighty and more industrious.  I’ve been in a job for so long that’s instilled in me an unwavering loyalty to my tribe, a reliable work ethic, motivated productivity, and comprehensive communication skills that I should be cranking out books like Stephen King on steroids.

via GIPHY 

Are you saying “yup” I should, or “yup” you’re an idiot?  I’m gonna go with the latter.

But sadly, I still feel the same insecurities, self-doubt and laziness holding me back.  The only difference this time is, yes, I have gotten wiser.  I have developed a work ethic I never would have gotten outside the Air Force.  Hell, I wouldn’t have gotten this far on making a blog had I not gotten the financial security and hard knock life lessons the military has given me.

By the way, did you know that according to CareerCast, the #1 most stressful job of 2017 (and more than likely 2018 til infinity) is enlisted military personnel?  But that’s a topic for another time.

Going back to this commitment I’m going to make on writing, f*ck it.  I’m a writer.  That’s what I’ve been doing this whole time and every time I do it I feel fantastic, whether I finish a piece or not.  It’s time that I embrace the fact that I want my calling to be someone who puts words on paper and makes readers go “ooh,” “aah,” “oh,”

(Note to self: update your pop-culture references)

But yeah,

  • Step 1:  Say you’re a damn writer!
  • Step 2:  Don’t fall into this trap.
  • Step 3:  Find an audience/genre/niche

…and that’s my next step.  Who do I want to write to, and for?  About 32 days ago (which is 4/20 by the way, har har)  I wrote an outline of all my interests and experiences and they’re all over the place.

Suffice it to say, I have a lot of experiences I’d like to share with people.  It’s just a matter of me writing it in a way that people will find interesting, and finding enough people who find it interesting.

So here’s to going Full Retard, and making this a worthwhile calling.  Like Robert Downey Jr. said:


…Or something like that.